Pants 0. Shit 1.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
