I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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