you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
