I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
