My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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