dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
thus making me awesome and them whores
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
