She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize