He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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