As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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