Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize