You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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