I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
