I love black thongs
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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