some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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