Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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