I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
