her vagine was all disorganized.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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