I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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