He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
