Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
