one two three fourrrrnication!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Found your dick twin last night
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize