so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
