Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i think i have two assholes
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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