so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
