well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
