Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
