do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
