It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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