He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
