Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
