I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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