That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize