yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
