See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
