Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
