sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
