i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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