Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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