ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize