We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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