Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
