I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
