bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
