we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
