I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
