I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize