The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
