Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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