How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
