No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
