normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
