I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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