Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
50% drunk capacity currently
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
