She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
