Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
