Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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