I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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