one two three fourrrrnication!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize