Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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