Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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